WORDS, WORDS, WORDS
There is an ancient proverb that says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Our words are as powerful as a match in a very dry forest or a gentle rain on parched soil. We chose the content of our speech. Words do not just flow from our brain out of our mouth. However, there are times when it may seem to be that they flow from the mouth without passing through the brain.
We will look at words of death and words of life and then chose which words we want to use.
The uncontrolled tongue releases words that inject poison into the mind that continues to affect us long after the conversation has ended.
There is sweet speech that is persuasive – that is speech coated with honey. It goes like this: “When you say that I’m lazy are you trying to help me see where I chose what brings me pleasure over personal responsibility? An illustration of that would be helpful.” Rather than defensive argumentation I am opening the door to correction.
There are words that are like a noisy gong or clanging cymbal. They draw attention to the speaker and highlight that person’s virtues.
Gracious speech looks for a way to honor the character qualities of people. A person may have an aptitude for negativity. Everything is black or white. “We need people like you to keep us honest and on track. You have clearly identified a real problem. It would be helpful if you could share your thoughts on how the problem could be remedied.”
Harsh words stir up anger. Rather than face the criticism, we deflect it. “It is easy for you to point out where I’m wrong. Have you ever looked in the mirror and seen how you hurt others.” And the battle begins. You never win a war with harsh words.
On the other hand, a gentle answer deflects wrath. “I deeply regret that there are things that I have said and actions I have taken that have wounded you. I trust that you will find it in your heart to forgive me and trust God to bring change in my life.”
Rash words are a relative of harsh words. Rash words are those that I release through my mouth without letting them pass through my brain. They are like the thrusts of the sword. They are desperate attempts to preserve my reputation. You may save your reputation only to discover you have destroyed the other person.
A person who desires to do what is right and fulfill responsibility in a relationship, will ponder how to respond. Vulgar, disrespectful language is often framed by deep frustrations that have been experienced. I may be the person who gets all the vomit but I am not the cause of it. A simple question like, “Hey, what’s causing the frustration?” may help build a bridge that strengthens the relationship.
Lying reveals hatred in the heart. A lye is a picture of the reality that I want you to see, not a portrayal of what exists. A lye is like an emotional wall that separates us. The only way I can handle your power is to keep you at a distance from me.
What picture do I need to paint that will encourage a person to trust me with the truth. Words that consistently attack the character of a person and express my disapproval of them, weaken the bridge of trust.
Over the years, I have outlined many character qualities that have both a negative and positive side. We can either highlight the negative side – rebellion, or the positive – self-determination. Self-determination can be unbending in my stand for truth or rebellious in my stand against authority.
Words are powerful. They will either build up and encourage or discourage and defeat. Join me in choosing words of life and I’ll see you at the top!
Duane Harder
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