How is Your Mind Health?
One of Our Biggest Fears: The Fear of Failure
How many times have you held yourself back because you were scared to try something? Sometimes it is being afraid to try something new. Other times it is because we are afraid of what other people will think of us if we fail.
It is actually what we will think of ourselves if we fail.
We become one of our own biggest critics, we beat ourselves up mentally, and then we feel terrible.
It is much easier to fail in advance so we don’t even have to try. We slide into the pattern of not putting ourselves out there because we are worried about what “might happen.” We self-sabotage.
The definition of failure is a failing to perform a duty or expected action. That’s it. Just not doing what was expected.
Yet, we can blow it up in our minds. We make it mean that PERSONALLY, we are a failure.
For me. I was scared to ski. I had put on some weight, and I was so terrified of looking fat, and not being strong enough, falling down, and in general just not fitting in. I didn’t want to break a bone, either. In my mind, it was just too big of a risk to even try. I would make excuses that I was too busy or make other plans just to avoid it.
I asked myself what I was missing out on by not even trying.
I was missing out on spending time with my family. I was missing out on that time with my husband and son. I was missing out on being an example to my son that we can do hard things.
I was missing out on trying.
Then, I asked myself what was the worst that could happen?
Yes, I could break a bone, but otherwise, it was probably the potential of being embarrassed. And what would that look like? Me thinking I looked funny or that people were judging me. Nothing else, as long as I wasn’t going to add to it making it also mean that I was terrible and a failure.
I went skiing this year. It was so much fun. I was definitely out of practice. I skied like the beginner that I was. I fell. I got back up. And I laughed. I was an example to my son and to myself that we can do things even when we are scared, and just that makes us feel like a winner.
So, ask yourself, what you are scared of? What is it costing you to not even try? What if you could do it? What if you dared to fail?
Angela Wigand, CPA
CEO & Life Coach
MindLogix Inc., www.mindlogix.ca
