We’re entering that time of year when winter has a hard time letting go to spring. But if you look at it from another perspective, perhaps it isn’t a power struggle at all. Maybe it’s a process of allowing moisture in the form of snow into the soil with a slow melt that doesn’t create significant erosion. It could be that winter and spring are cooperating and creating less of an abrupt change and acknowledging their need for both seasons simultaneously.
Looking at society from a big picture it’s easy to shake one’s head and decide that going for a walk in the woods is the best remedy. We’re being faced with deeper ideological divides that create division in our relationships and local communities. We often fall into two categories. Either we become combative, confrontational, and dogmatic, vilifying those who think differently. And the second, becoming passive, keeping our opinions to ourselves. Neither option is beneficial.
A couple of years back I read an excellent book entitled Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott. When dealing with differing viewpoints and priorities she had the simple suggestion to replace the word “but” with “and”. Her premise being that it validates both points of view as truth from the perspective of the one holding the belief. It creates a healthier starting point in conversations.
A recent email from one of our readers expressed what he thought was an over emphasis of environmental concerns throughout the paper. Not looking to dive into the environmental debate, nor any of the other major ideological debates that we’re facing, I would like to suggest how we can create a more unified way of looking for solutions to complex problems. What would happen if the next time you were in a disagreement with someone, you started your conversation with an “and”, truly seeking to understand their values. Others may be less likely to argue and be willing to dialogue with a view to create a solution which acknowledges the other’s values as important. If we can approach the differing points of view with an “and”, we will be less combative and find a new way forward that isn’t so divisive. Maybe we could create a new season called “sprinter” that allows for both the moisture of snow and the warmth of the sun to co-exist!
When you have opportunity, remember to thank those in your community who give themselves as volunteers. The hours invested enrich us all.
From my family to yours,
Lowell Harder
