Developing the Power of Influence
Johnny Gaudreau’s death brought an outpouring of love and respect from thousands of people. What triggered such a response. Was it his skill as a hockey player or could it be the quality of his character. Personally, I think it was the quality of his character that highlighted the skill of his performance.
Think about it — who has had the greatest influence in your life? The person with the power of position or the person with the power of influence? For me it was a man with the power of influence who did the most to shape my life.
Here are some thoughts to consider in developing the power of influence.
- Look for the gold in the rock. On one of my many trips into Whitehorse, I talked with an older person who was very knowledgeable about the Klondike gold rush. He told me that a mine was successful if they could extract 2 ounces of gold from a ton of rock. The miners weren’t concerned about the rock, they were looking for the gold. Every person has strengths and weaknesses. If you focus on the weakness, you will likely miss the gold. The value of the gold puts the weakness into perspective.
- Let your word be your bond. If you made a commitment, KEEP IT! A broken commitment weakens the bridge of trust. Failure to keep our word inthe small areas of life drains our trust account for the larger areas. A man had an opportunity to buy a beautiful 2-acre property with a lovely home. They could sell their house in the city and move onto the acreage and be debt free. His wife didn’t want to make the move. What was at the heart of her resistance? “If you can’t keep your commitment to care for a ‘postage stamp property’ why should I think you will care for 2-acres?” Build a track record of fulfilled commitments.
- Admit your wrongs! Don’t sanitize, minimize, or attempt to justify a wrong. If your words were harsh and demoralizing, admit it and ask for forgiveness. If you are late for a meeting acknowledge that it was wrong to expect others to accommodate their time to your schedule. If your failed to keep a commitment acknowledge that you allowed your priorities to eclipse your responsibility to keep your word. Remember, people will respect our sincere apology and despise our fabricated excuses. My dad would say, “Son, your enemies won’t believe your excuses and your friends don’t need them.”
- Agree on limits, rules, expectations and consequences of any contractual agreement. A contractor agreed to do work for a casual friend. The work was verbally outlined and a price established. The contractor came back to the friend and said there was more work than he anticipated and needed more money. A casual friendship was ruptured. This could have been avoided if the expectations of the homeowner had been listed in detail and put within a time framework. The contractor needed to give a detailed cost analysis for each phase of the work, the limits of his responsibility, and his expectation should there be cost overruns. An agreed upon contract helps guard the integrity of relationships.
- Separate a person’s value from their performance. Remember to put your mind in gear before you open your mouth. I have been confronted with some of the most obscene, abhorrent human behavior. The wrong choices these people have made does not define their value. Because someone calls you a stupid idiot or treats you as trash does not mean that is what you are. Don’t let the words of insecure people define your value. Your Creator is offended when you are ridiculed, mocked, looked down on, and despised. Remember, your words have power to crush or create.
Next month we will give you five more steps in developing the power of influence. Keep growing and we will see you at the top.
Duane Harder
