Chapter 166
So much for that “last of the big snowfalls” in my last month’s message. Ha. Two feet of snow overnight made for an entertaining snow day. However, now we finally have the whole green grass and leafing trees thing going… lovely.
Meanwhile… back at the mental rancheroo…when in doubt, learn something.
Multiple breakages in my body make me doubt many things. I’ve been doubting myself. I’ve been doubting my ability to get back to strength and fitness. Each time I feel as though I’m heading in that direction, I manage to break something else, or something in my body breaks down. The levels of frustration escalate in direct correlation with the number of breakages.
Recently, I was able to do a little exploration with the aid of my very good naturopath associate. We have been working working quite closely over the last several months. We had an email exchange last week and I was obviously at the forefront of her mind when something came up the following day. An early-morning email asked if I would be available later that day, to which I replied ‘yes’. Although I did have something arranged, something told me rescheduling to open space for this new thing might be better. Time to explore whatever this opportunity was going to be.
She works with some shamanic traditions and specifically with Blackfoot medicine traditions, to further her studies in evolving medicine and healing modalities of many paths. She was in some form of guided learning practice that afternoon away down south. Attempting to get myself to the right place at the right time, I ended up initiating our call from my car at the side of the road. I had intended to be at the library, a nice quiet place where I could focus, however my poor timing caught up with me. After a few minutes talking and attempting to focus deeply on the questions I was being asked I was getting rather hot – under our glorious Alberta sunshine – and the noisy passing cars made open windows a no-no. So, I relocated to said Library parking lot, finding a super quiet spot at the very back, facing into the woods and close to the river. As our conversation progressed, drawing some connections with colours and features of leaves and petals she had at her end, and as my mind and energy finally found a place of mutual understanding, I was aware of a growing number of squirrels doing their squirrel thing within close proximity to me… then a mule deer appeared munching her way up over a rise in front of me directly towards me. The trees dipped and swayed and played with the breeze and the various facets of nature in spring mayhem swept through the whole conversation, occasionally punctuated by the violently loud exhaust of a nearby vehicle.
After half an hour we wound things up with a more positive and expansive sensation in my body. “That was interesting” I thought… and then walked out to take care of a couple of errands before electing to spend the remainder of the afternoon walking down by the river. A glorious day; birds singing, the water high and turbulent, ducks enjoying the waves… I found a smooth, perfect rubbing stone that looked very much like malachite to me. Must have been dropped by someone as I’m pretty sure it was not a natural occurence in the location it was found. Returning and looping about the river via various bridges and trails I realised a structure I had passed on my first time round, without registering it’s true form, was a Blackfoot tipi skeleton of four lodgepoles, each painted at the base in the colours of the four directions: red, yellow, white and black. Hmm. We had talked of the first three in our conversation and brought up various issues with each. How is it that I am here now?
I sat in the centre on the warm gravel, digging a small hole in which to hide the unusual green stone I carried and let my mind open to the sound of the birds, breeze, water flow and workmen digging holes right next to me. Long moments passed swiftly.
It was a good day. Something to learn here.
Kat Dancer
bodymudra@gmail.com 1 415 525 2630 (c)
